New Semester, New Beginning

I can not remember the last time when I was as happy as I am right now. After walking in the darkness for a long period of time, the shining sun has already rose from the eastern horizon. Here it begins my new life...

When I heard from Dr. Guo that I would get the $750.00 per month in the near future, my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. It is the feeling that I have unloaded the burden impose on my shoulder for a long time(the burden?? it was supposed not to belong to me, which was another long story to tell, and it always hurt to recall). Now, the aspiration within me has been ignited again. Thank you for the opportunity I have been offered. I should prove to everyone that I deserve it!

The process of getting the assistantship was not as easy as I have imagined. And also I would say that I am a little fortunate to get it, which solidly proved that, keep INSISTING, the success is closely near and can be achieved as easy as to penetrate a piece of paper

Speak for myself

What a fundamental and superficial saying! It is always easier to be said than to be done.To fully achieve the insidious action, I have a long way to go...

My mind is simple. I try to treat people I am in favor of with my whole warm heart, while meanwhile, I hope to be treated in the same. This is almost impossible. Now that I can not expect people pay back the same way as I offer, I should speak for myself, to guarantee that my part is not invaded. Do not be shy to speak it out, moreover, loudly!

Adam, Megan and Matt

This is my first time to watch American Idol. It is amazing!

This is the eighth season, the best series I truly believe. I spent almost a whole week to watch it. It not only entertains me, but also reminds me, never to be ARROGANT. I love Adam( Kris and Danny is just so so, but I hate Allison). He should be the American Idol, and he always proves that he deserves the title. How could he fall into bottom three? When Ryan announced the result, OOOHHH, it is crazy! I love Matt and Megan, too. They are the types I want to be and hope to own. I felt a great pity when they were out of the competition. It is cruel...

The other property I learned from Adam is to be of FORTITUDE. He is No. 1, he deserves that and he believes that. But the result was totally out of our expectation! Crazy result! But this did not beat him down at all, even either give him any negative effect. The unfair result inflame the talent within him. It makes him stronger and stronger. He shows to me, to all of the people who are in despair!

Game Happiness

Things seem to develop in the reverse way opposite to my initial belief.

Third time moving to a new apartment, least but not the last. When I first moved in, I felt homeless and uncomfortable. I've got used to one style of life. Familiar rooms, familiar people. Now I need to learn them further again. As days goes on, the living here is actually not as boring as I've expected, but something fulfilling and interesting. What makes the change? The computer games!

Usually when experiencing an great trip, people get relaxed and full of energy. While I felt kind of blankness and afraid, vacuity of with my current life and afraid of my future. So many annoyances harass me, I can't escape. Now I need breathe fresh air. There are so many beauties which I can dig to ease my current situation. It is very important to find the pace of life, doing things within schedule.

At daytime, I can do some reading work. Reading some SPE articles and reciting everyday English words, more over, I can write a blog. Then it comes my happy time. We four guys share one common hobby: playing computer games. I could say that I am good at games, from the very beginning I learn to play. But now I lack that confidence, and I lag behind. Not because of my fading interests, but I inherently believe I will addict to them. Everything has two sides. I sacrifice my game time to do what I hold of significance. In reallity, I miss the opportunity to exercise my brain, and enrich my study life. Also I could share more common topics when talking with others. I do not want to be thought as man lives a monotonous life. Besides studying, I need to learn how to play!

Trip New Orleans

Sometimes travel to new places leads to great transformation.

Thursday morning, I got up early not as usual. Have nothing to do but browsing in the internet. Benny came by and invited me to have a short visit of New Orleans. Actually, I inclined to do that. I just did not want to bring inconvenience to the family. Although I gave ambiguous words, I accepted the invitation in the end.

This was the first major city I had ever visited in America. A lot of skyscrapers and overpasses. All were typical for a major city. However, it missed the most important, crowds of people, fashionable people. When walking around the streets, there were always spaces to walk across. What we can admire was mainly the view of the buildings, the fixtures. In almost four days time, we visited the Lafayette park, U Tulane, U Loyola, aquarium(iMax), Big houses, zoo and national day night. It was an amazing experience.

I have been idling the boring vacation for too long. It gradually blunt and benumb my ambition. I tended to plan a common life, the life I thought of ease, but actually boring and unrespectable...I need to travel to new places, to pick up motivation, to ignite my inner flame!

NO FREE LUNCH

I always consider myself as a generous man, sometimes I am proud of this. So whenever it is, I never stand on the side of encroaching men. This is one key factor to live a significant life. However, it is one's nature to encroach on others. Sometimes it is on anything but trifles, while sometimes it is on something that affects you. For the latter, it really hurt afterwords.

The house I have lived for almost a half year since I first came to America is just an exact case. I so believed in fate that I neglected the basic analytic work. At that time, everything seemed to be ready for me, and I encroached on the convenience that did not belong to me. So smoothly, feeling at ease and justified. Then the life followed was a nightmare for me, which was apparently calm I held until I came awake, when I realized I am going to lose much more. I lost the money, the reputation, and most important of all the confidence. The wrong step I need to pay for. How high the expense will be, it is a mystery...

Fool man

It is hard to imagine how meaningless my current life is, and what even worse is I seem to get used to this kind of life. For an ambitious man that was once be, it is a great irony!

Ever I greatly expected sufficient time for my spare life I can spend freely. Now I have. Even much more than I can expect. When it really comes to me, how to schedule it becomes a problem. So many contradictions. When it comes to its nature, I need some impulses. To be more explicit, I need salary. There is one way to correct this conception. That is to work for myself. Too good to be true, and I doubt it. It is just an excuse for my boring life.

I always reluctant to change myself when I get used to one style of life. Reluctant to communicate, reluctant to study new, reluctant to fulfill my schedule even I know it is significant. All of these can not be defined as behaviors of clever man. Never to feel so confident about myself, never to be a narcissist. I am a fool...

Miky Way Battleship Returns Back

It is a great day for Real Madrid fans today. In only three days, two world greatest soccer players: Kaka and Cristiano Ronaldo come to this dream team. Kaka costs €64 million，and Cristiano Ronaldo costs ￡80 million. In such a severe financial crisis period, no other clubs but Real Madrid can give us such screams. That is why I began to love this club since I was a freshman.

Unlike most soccer fans, it is the superstars in the team that attract me in. What I enjoy most is not the game itself, but the news. To tell the truth, so far I have never watched a integral match of Real Madrid. It seems to be ironic. But it does not stop me to be a frantic fan. I like the club that can give me surprise. Not only it can win dozens of championships, but also it should be the club that most players are dreaming of. It can buy the hottest player in the world, no matter how high the price is...Let us remember the name: Florentino Perez!

Her birthday

Yesterday, it began the summer semester. One month has passed. It has ever been so many times that I made up my mind to divert from my dark life. It was great yesterday. I studied the whole daytime, while at night, I enjoyed the TV play. What a full life.

As I was so excited yesterday that I slept very hard at night, just like to welcome a holiday. To tell the truth, I never expect someone's birthday like this. I should go on my continuous work plan, but I change my schedule. All are for a phone call on eleven o'clock. When I hurriedly returned back from the lab, unexpectedly the door was locked. It really drove me crazy at that time. I really do not want to miss the first time. Regardless of my normal behavior, I rode to borrow a phone call to my roommate, but no one answered. Then I thought hard of where he might be. Just on my way to find him, he appeared. I picked up the keys and returned back in no time. The sweat had already been all over my body. It worked, as what I've expected.

I do not know who I am in her mind, also this is what have harassed me for a long period of time. And I still do not know how long will it last, until the day...I have a contradictory standpoint towards her. Sometimes I hold that she and me walk different way, and I do not like to get in her way. While for most of the time, I believe she is the one I can belove forever, and this is the opportunity I should never miss. I always strive for whatever, or whoever I believe in, just like Xiaoyang persists on her lottery number. From now on, I am counting the days...

Virus and Basketball

I have not kept on writing for a long time. There do exist a lot of interesting stuff that deserves my blogging. Now I return back.

My computer was attacked by a facebook virus yesterday afternoon. When I received the email from Denvil Smith, I did not perceive anything abnormal. It said that it was a wonderful radio that might involve me, and many people received it at the same time. When I opened the link, it converted to a YouTube window. But some files were needed to add on. By that time, I were still in the dark. I clicked the add-on and downloaded the files. Suddenly, my Kaspersky jumped out and warned me that it was a Trojan virus. My computer was in danger...However, I still kept on installing the virous files. How stupid! Until this moring, I received an email from Denvil, and it confirmed that a facebook virus in his computer had sent out the infected emails to us.

Last night was sweet. Gao and Ding came to ask me to play baskball in the park. Although it was about eight in the evening and I was a little reluctant to play, I went out with them. When we three people arrived at the play yard, there were no people but we three. We practicing shooting randomly. Just when we about to play the 21 points game, three local young men appeared. Then 3 vs 3 game began. Initially, when I saw their strong bodies standing in front of us, I was a little afraid to play. As the game went on, it proceeded completely opposite my afraid. They played very gentlemen, and did not use their bodies to defend us, while just shooting around the 3-point line. They left their adjustment scopes at home. Their shoot was really bad. They haven't got the right feeling. As for us, we were not tall, not strong. But Gao's feeling was great, he had a very high field-goal percentage, and so did I. I shoot several amzing balls. Not directly, but performing fakes. Great game!

Duanwujie

I can not remember when I had my last Duanwujie at home. Next year, I will be at home to celebrate this festival.

It's a special day. We twelve Chinese students made zongzi together. It is my first time to do that. But the zongzi I made out is really good. I suppose that is the most beautiful one among them. For everyone who came to the party should bring one's good at food with them. Mine is also very successful. They all praise me that I am an awesome cook!

Looking into the future

This afternoon the other four guys and I helped Dr. Deng to move house. The new house is amazing. I like the house very much. Dr. Deng said he has spent twenty years to accumulate to afford that house. Now he succeeded.

Dr. Deng is my model. I just hope that I can own a house that is $300,000.00 with my wife. With two children in the famous university in America. When will my dream come true?

Thunder attack

"Xidu,

Aparently, your performance in the first semeseter does not justify
additional assistantships. In fact, I may cut your tuition waiver if
the university cut our budget. What do you think?"

I fully realize how serious my situation is right the fucking now. Who to blame? There has once been a very good opportunity for me. While I did not treasure it. If there is a chance to regret, I would turn over a new leaf.

As I always thought that I will get the scholarship, it is of no need to study hard to justify that. I did what I did before in DPI, or just a little better. This was the cause that put me in the hell. Life here is not easy, and be cautious about people around.

If I quit this time, I will quit all the time for the rest of my life...

"Raped" Day

Today is Memorial Day, a national holiday. Also the day I planed to begin to do the experiment. While it did not follow what I've planed. When I got to the laboratory, it was locked and I did not have the keys. I should have one. As I have thought that it was useless, so I postponed to fill the application form. I have to borrow them from others.

At noon, I helped ZTY to move house. It was messy and left a lot of garbage behind, a lot of cleaning work followed by. It should be within the responsibility of our four people, actually however, I was forced to do nearly all the work. That did not mean that I was a diligent man, but I want to be responsible for the reputation of Chinese.

After the moving work, they two wanted to invite me to have lunch together. I gave an excuse that someone was waiting for me. They seemed to understand that I were not reluctant to eat with them alone, fearing of having no mutual topics. So they invited my another two roommates without any reasons. I did the work, we all share the fruit. Ironic!

I seemed very active to do the experiment. People got curious of how high my salary was. ZERO! I had enough excuses to fire my "boss". Will I?! Dare I?!

Moving from 159 Dr. Whittington

I still clearly remembered when I first moved into that house on Dec. 31, 2008. It was a comfortable place, except for some human shorts. How time flies, five months has passed already.

306 bucks per month, water, gas and telecommunication fees not included. It is beyond my affording capacity. I have decided to move out since several months ago. "There are no free lunches in the world". I should think twice before encountering something too favorable to me.

I will stay here for one month. My first day here is just normal. I did some rookie work, just like when I first came to this university. Now everything is ready. I am enjoying my first night here...

First trip to Houston

Houston, the biggest city I have ever been to. What impressed me most is its tall buildings. I just feel them from the surround city road. If I can walk through them, how would it sound? It would be a great impulse to live with them. I would say they are not beautiful, but they are overwhelming, like giants with great strength.

The destination of this trip is the famous China town, along a street which is called Bellaire Street. It takes about four hours from Lafayette to Houston. When we arrived in Houston, it was past 13 o'clock already. We had a great "noon tea" in a Guangdong restaurant. The food offered are of great varieties but with small amount, which is in a typical south diet way. Guangdong people are good at cooking, they have a great culture in diet. I have heard that before, before I have this opportunity to experience them by myself, I could not imagine how good they are. The China Town does not appear as what I've thought of. It has low buildings and scattered in a big area. At least it should have a imposing entrance building. Maybe it have one, but I have not seen it. The commodity in the two supermarket, Huikang and Golden is great, almost whatever I can buy in China. I bought a lot of seasoning, which can be used for at least one semester.

When I returned back, it was almost midnight. Tired but an unforgettable experience!

The more, the better

It is a little ironic that my first fully contact with local American comes today while I have been here for almost five months. Two days is not long. I do learn some valuable characters from them:

• Be serious with your work. Even I could believe it as fastidious. In my former education, I was caltivated with a bad habit, neglecting anything so called trival to make myself confortable. Sometimes it is the details that determine the final. Also, to be an educated man, being serious with what I am drilling is indispensable.
• Be enthusiastic with what I am working with. That is the key factor when hoping to be somebody. Now, I have a better understanding about an old saying. For men, choosing a wrong profession is great pity. The job just likes a girl. I need to treasure it with my whole life.
• Be humorous. That may be why American are so talkative. It deserves my concentration to learn that. Not always trying to be aggressive, sometimes stepping back might be a good choice. Just as Randy said, " We know that is what we wanted, but why?" I shake my head. "That's why we call it research." Bullshit! but funny. I always try to pretend to understand everything, even I do not actually understand. The theory Lee told me is really simple, but I can not apply it into analysis. Great shame...

Two days is not a long time. Actually, it is two short for me. I need such kind of opportunity to learn from those people, that is what I came to America for.

To feel self-satisfied is what I am pursuing for a long time. Now it comes, late but familiar!

To be OPTIMISTIC!

Rather than being idle everyday, I would like to be busy doing everyday work. It does not mean that I like to be busy, but I hate to be idle!!

Get up early in the morning. Actually it was half past eight, for me it should be called early, especially in the summer vocation. Today was the first day for my experiment life, which I have been expecting for almost one month. "Oh man, you like experiment!?" The answer is absolutely not, because I have to do this. When I get access to the experiment, it is not as useless or bad as what I've thought of. What I greatly need now is not just professional knowledge, most important of all, I need practice. The experiment dose not seem to be hard. Even there is a convenience for Chinese students, as the manual has been translated by a Chinese based woman who is from south Harbin. The experiment equipment is produced by a company called TECLIS. The man who gives us instruction on how to use the equipment is called Lee Gilman, Charlotte, North Carolina, a old man seemd to be more than sixty years old. However, he is ful of energy, and I learned from him that I should be optimistic to treat every thing, and find the exciting aspect involved. "Not excited?? Have you found that..." I want to be changed!

Another excited news I got today is Sange is going to get married. They have bought the house, the diamond ring, and also going to have a baby in the near future. Awesome!

That's right. It is not the age for me to get tired...

Good beginning equals half success

It's has been a long time that since I made up my mind to write something about my American Lift. Now, I take out my first step.

I can not remember the last time when I was with relax mood. Think too much while most of which is useless. Reality is greatly different from the thinking of school student. Life is tough, and I have to get used to it.

Before I came to America, this country seems to be a paradise for me, and some many dreams are waiting for me to be achieved one by one. Some are about study, some about good stuff, and some are changes. Actually, these can be achieved everywhere! It is the attitude that determine my future.

I need practice!